faithfulness and trust

The devotional in My Utmost For His Highest was great today..
-We take our circumstances for granted, saying that God is in control, but not really believing it.
-God may cause our circumstances to suddenly fall apart, which may bring the realization of our unfaithfulness to Him for not recognizing that He ordained the situation.
-If we choose to learn to worship God even during the difficult circumstances, He will change them for the better very quickly if He so chooses.
-The goal of faithfulness is not that we will do work for God, but that He will be free to do His work through us.
-God calls us to His service and places tremendous responsibilities on us. He expects no complaining on our part and offers no explanation on His part.
-God wants to use us at He used His own son.

This is so right on. I was taking my blessings, everything, for granted. As if I had done something to earn it. As if they were mine. And in my control, my plan. He took it all, crashed it down in front of me and said (loudly) "Tamara, this is NOT about you, it's about time you get that." Crumbled to the ground. Rubble. I picture a demolished building. Beyond repair. Not a stripping away or refocusing. A rebirth. A restart. A true starting-over. From the ground-up. With the focus on the One who matters. Not me. Definitely not me.

I wasn't being faithful, not really. I was comfortable. I was excited about the future. I thought the blessings that God had given me were mine to enjoy and move forward with. I paraded around as if I was doing His will for my life. And maybe I was, but not like this. Not like He wants me to. My attitude toward my part in it needed to be removed.

The thing is, I like to know how things are going to go. And I was so sure that I knew how things were going to go. It was obvious. I thought, anyway. But God took everything away and said no. You don't know. But I know. I know everything. I know what's important for you, what's worthwhile. And I'll take care of you. But you need to TRUST me.