endings and beginnings

I've been analyzing this statement since I said it, and then wrote it yesterday:

[I am so thankful, that things ended in November.] I am so thankful that this struggle, this junk, this crap, this baggage, this toil and trial, did not have an opportunity to poison that relationship.

I am thankful that this didn't have an opportunity to become a part of that relationship. I am thankful that that relationship was in a time-capsule of sorts. That this was not a part of it, and not a part of why it ended. It didn't have an opportunity to taint the relationship.

I made a statement to myself a few weeks ago similar to that one, that I am thankful that the relationship ended. I feel like that's a loaded statement. And I felt like it was loaded when I said it. I was surprised at myself when I said it. But the important part is the statement that came after it.. Because of everything that has happened because of it ending.

Endings are really just new beginnings. Painful yes, growth-producing, yes. Surrender, trust that God will use it. He uses everything.

Look at how he used that relationship ending to show me that I was not trusting Him. I was trusting in myself, in what I wanted, in my plan, in things going how I thought they should.

That relationship was human, finite, the relationship I have with God now is eternal. I would trade any human relationship for my relationship with God. That's a huge statement. And I mean it.

I love everyone who is apart of my life on this earth. With my whole heart. But they didn't create me. They don't love me as one of their own, not in the same way God does. They don't usher me into eternity with them like He will.

I don't know where God is taking me. I only see a limited view of the horizon. He sees the entire world. I am the line drawn on the page, and He is the paper (C.S. Lewis). I don't know how my life, my path is going to weave into others'. But I see how God is using others in my life. And I'm thankful for it. Eternally thankful.