paths and circles

It's funny to me how our own paths cross our past paths. Does that make sense? What I mean is, how we were in one place at one time, in what feels to me to be a previous life because I was so different, and then I end up in the same place again years later.

Who would have known that my path would take the twists and turns that it did and lead me back to this same place?

I went on a walk this morning in my neighborhood. The leaves were falling slowly off of the trees so beautifully yellow gold and red. I stole a few of course, to flatten in books. It was a gorgeous morning. And it got me thinking about how the future is so uncertain.

5 1/2 years ago I was sitting in a park with my then boyfriend, reading as he drew a picture of the cathedral for a class he was taking in art school. Who would know that all these years later I would be walking by that park and sitting on the cathedral steps and praying while leaves were falling off the trees?

I think life is neat in that way, things come full circle. But at the time you can't see it.

So that makes me wonder. I see now where I was and how far I've come and how I've been led back to that place.. what happens in another 5 years? Where will I be led back to? What will happen in my life in that time?

Season changes make me think a lot as well. The death and rebirth of nature.. the hibernating that we Minnesotans do in the winter, how we break out of our cuckoons to embrace life again when spring comes.. The letting go of fall as the leaves change and release themselves from trees, the bliss of summer and soaking in every ounce of sun that we possibly can..

It's all cyclical. Death leads to birth leads to death. Opening up and letting go.

I think the key for me is being open to experiences and at the same time trusting that my greatest good is really being worked out before my eyes. In ways that I can see and mostly that I cannot see.

To not be frustrated with where I'm at or where I think I should be but to embrace that, in this moment, I am exactly where I am meant to be.