patience

So.

God gives you the desires of your heart, right.

Not as in He fulfills them, but He actually plants the seeds of what you want.

Okay.

But what about when He's given me some huge desires of my heart, and I'm struggling to wait for the plant to grow?

I don't know what it is about lately, but I am majorly struggling being single. I've hashed it out a bit with God too. Trust me, He knows that I'm lonely. And it's not a can-be-filled-with-friends kind of lonely. It's a come-on-God-I'm-a-good-catch lonely. An if-I'm-so-great-why-am-I-alone lonely. Not exactly the kind of lonely that attracts the lads, I suppose.

And to be honest, I struggle with filling it with people who aren't the best for me. This isn't new. And I know I'm not alone in this .. issue. Issue isn't the word. But I know I've got a lot of company of the female realm in my situation. And it stinks.

And I guess, it kind of just is what it is. I think life is one big lesson to be learned as we go. And I know for myself I need to learn lessons the hard way.

I know that part of this whole living on my own lesson is to learn to be okay being alone, being on my own, being single, however you want to say it. That's not news to me.

And add to that, it's like 5* outside so I can't just go sit outside at a cute coffee shop by my house. Hellooooo cabin fever. I'm just about going crazy. This coming from a girl who is learning to LOVE her alone time. I'm starting to implode into myself.

Seasons, everything is a season. This too shall pass. Everything always does.

But sometimes I wonder, what's taking so long?

Oh look, another ongoing lesson of mine: patience.