life lessons 2011

I feel like 2011 was a year filled with lessons.

Relationships, friendships, work, school, buying a house and living on my own, so many things that have shaped who I am and are shaping who I am becoming.

Learning the value of me. How that ebbs and flows and I begin to think I comprehend it, and then poof, it's out the window. Finding my value in God vs. the people around me giving me validation. It's a daily.. struggle isn't the word.. but I guess again, it just ebbs and flows.

Learning what I want and don't want in relationships and friendships, and learning to ask for those things or how to say something isn't feeling good when it isn't feeling good.

Learning to be myself, unapologetically. And how the people who stay by your side are the people who really love you for who your are, instead of who you pretend to be.

Learning that loving others is hard work. But it's the most rewarding kind. If not for myself, but to see the joy in their eyes or the power of a simple compliment or favor. Must do this more.

Learning that my relationship with God ebbs and flows. And that the fact that He isn't going anywhere, no matter what, is the most powerful security I have ever felt.

Learning that not only is being on my own not scary, it's actually one of the most wonderful experiences of my life. I can enjoy not making plans and end up spending time at home with a good book and be completely content.

Learning that being introverted is just who I am. To embrace the qualities that come along with that instead of trying to be someone I'm not. It's exhausting to try and at the end of the day, I can't change who I am. And I shouldn't try to.

Learning that sometimes I need to make mistakes to learn. That there's always a hand to pick me up and that I can find the strength to dust my knees off and get back up again.

Learning that sometimes the best help I can be for friends is to be praying and thinking and hoping and loving.. from afar. But knowing that their future is in God's hands, and it was never meant to be in mine.

Learning that there is a blessing in each pain. Small or big, it's there. Might not seem like it right away, might be impossible to see for a while, but eventually, it comes out. And in the end, it's worth it.

...and so much more.