shift in space

Do you ever want something (or think you want something) so badly that it's all you can think about?

That's what's happening with me.

Suffice it to say, I've already remodeled a bathroom and painted a bedroom in my day (and night) dreams.

I've been feeling a shift in the last couple of months, a very much coming-into-my-own kind of experience. It's felt VERY good, and very bad at the same time. Growing pains are painful.

As a part of this shift, the idea of buying a condo has been a bug in my brain. Yes, it's recent. I'm taking it.. semi-slow. Getting (too) excited. Falling (deeply) in love with a space that may (or may not) ever become mine. But you know what, life's too short to not fall deeply in love. My heart might get broken, but that's life. It heals, I've seen it do just that.

Today I got a pre-approval for a mortgage (holy crap right?) Such ADULT stuff.

But that's just it. I feel like I'm becoming an adult. Whoa.

My life is my own, my income is my own, and I'm ready for my own  s p a c e

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And then I think, is this God's plan, or is it mine?

BUT.. I'm praying about this along the way, in a way I never have. And things are slowly moving in the right direction.

And the feedback and response from loved ones has been so great. So much support.

I need to accept that it could go either way. This might all NOT work out .. or it might work out in a way that I didn't expect.. actually that's what always happen.. unexpected, and whatever happens is it actually working out, because it will be in my best interest, whatever happens.

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The two main issues are:

1. I need to make more money.
2. The price needs to be lower or they need to short sale for me to snatch it up.

Two HUGE hurdles. But, God can do anything. And I trust that if this is going to happen, it's going to be all about Him and not about me.

As usual.