Do you ever want something (or think you want something) so badly that it's all you can think about?
That's what's happening with me.
Suffice it to say, I've already remodeled a bathroom and painted a bedroom in my day (and night) dreams.
I've been feeling a shift in the last couple of months, a very much coming-into-my-own kind of experience. It's felt VERY good, and very bad at the same time. Growing pains are painful.
As a part of this shift, the idea of buying a condo has been a bug in my brain. Yes, it's recent. I'm taking it.. semi-slow. Getting (too) excited. Falling (deeply) in love with a space that may (or may not) ever become mine. But you know what, life's too short to not fall deeply in love. My heart might get broken, but that's life. It heals, I've seen it do just that.
Today I got a pre-approval for a mortgage (holy crap right?) Such ADULT stuff.
But that's just it. I feel like I'm becoming an adult. Whoa.
My life is my own, my income is my own, and I'm ready for my own s p a c e
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And then I think, is this God's plan, or is it mine?
BUT.. I'm praying about this along the way, in a way I never have. And things are slowly moving in the right direction.
And the feedback and response from loved ones has been so great. So much support.
I need to accept that it could go either way. This might all NOT work out .. or it might work out in a way that I didn't expect.. actually that's what always happen.. unexpected, and whatever happens is it actually working out, because it will be in my best interest, whatever happens.
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The two main issues are:
1. I need to make more money.
2. The price needs to be lower or they need to short sale for me to snatch it up.
Two HUGE hurdles. But, God can do anything. And I trust that if this is going to happen, it's going to be all about Him and not about me.
As usual.
Friday, August 19, 2011
Monday, August 8, 2011
made me think
This:
"Don't settle because you're afraid you won't find something better. Don't compromise because you don't want to be alone. Give your perfect life, lover and job time and space to grow into our life. Don't rush, don't hurry. Take your time, be easy, have patience. Allow everything to come to you with your subtle guiding and intending. Your days of constant chasing with little reward are over. Everything you've ever wanted and more is coming to you, you just have to let it in with love, receptivity and non-judgment. Letting it in is how you become it." --Jackson Kiddard
And this:
How to Live a Great Love Story - Don Miller's blog
(This was a really great blog post of his, but he got a lot of criticism about it (stupid) so he took it down. I want to leave this as a reminder that he said he's going to change some and repost it.)
"Don't settle because you're afraid you won't find something better. Don't compromise because you don't want to be alone. Give your perfect life, lover and job time and space to grow into our life. Don't rush, don't hurry. Take your time, be easy, have patience. Allow everything to come to you with your subtle guiding and intending. Your days of constant chasing with little reward are over. Everything you've ever wanted and more is coming to you, you just have to let it in with love, receptivity and non-judgment. Letting it in is how you become it." --Jackson Kiddard
And this:
How to Live a Great Love Story - Don Miller's blog
(This was a really great blog post of his, but he got a lot of criticism about it (stupid) so he took it down. I want to leave this as a reminder that he said he's going to change some and repost it.)
Saturday, August 6, 2011
future
This made me laugh, in a "Oh crap. He's right." kind of way.
"The future is ALWAYS uncertain, yet our perception changes of it daily."
-The Daily Love for 8.6.2011
"The future is ALWAYS uncertain, yet our perception changes of it daily."
-The Daily Love for 8.6.2011
Friday, August 5, 2011
qualities, expressed
Make a list of all the things you wish other people would see about you.
I am caring, loving, compassionate, funny, talented, smart, faithful, loyal, generous, supportive, creative, knowledgeable, trusting, trustworthy, genuine, happy, real, silly, unique, sweet, dorky, quirky, patient, impatient, and a great listener.
Now, ask yourself if you are demonstrating these qualities towards yourself?
Well the easy, knee-jerk answer is NO. And maybe that is the real, thought-through answer too. I feel like especially in the last few weeks I've been too busy to even sit down at home, let alone read a book or anything else that fills me up. I mean, everything (most everything I guess) that I've been running around doing fills me up. Being with friends, learning, music, working, though sometimes stressful, are all things I very very much enjoy doing. But resting is not included in that busy schedule. So when I don't take time to rest, I don't take much care of my spirit.
So, how would you act if you were actually demonstrating these qualities? That version of you is who will attract people who see you. When you see you, other people will too.
I would be 100% authentically me. I think this is starting to happen each day more and more. I think out of fear I have kept parts of me hidden, or subdued. Something like if I show who I really am and be vulnerable people won't like it.. which is really backwards, because then I'm hiding GOOD qualities.. who isn't going to love good qualities?? Do I really want those people in my life?
They say that the energy you put out is the energy you will receive in return. I like all of those qualities of me I listed above. I want people to know those things about me. And I want to receive them from other people. I'm happy to be on this journey to expressing on the outside who I am on the inside.
When we try to prove ourselves to others, it is because we do not see our great qualities and are not giving these qualities to ourselves. Once we do, we step into a new paradigm and walk away from trying to prove ourselves and step into just being ourselves.
(from The Daily Love this morning)
I am caring, loving, compassionate, funny, talented, smart, faithful, loyal, generous, supportive, creative, knowledgeable, trusting, trustworthy, genuine, happy, real, silly, unique, sweet, dorky, quirky, patient, impatient, and a great listener.
Now, ask yourself if you are demonstrating these qualities towards yourself?
Well the easy, knee-jerk answer is NO. And maybe that is the real, thought-through answer too. I feel like especially in the last few weeks I've been too busy to even sit down at home, let alone read a book or anything else that fills me up. I mean, everything (most everything I guess) that I've been running around doing fills me up. Being with friends, learning, music, working, though sometimes stressful, are all things I very very much enjoy doing. But resting is not included in that busy schedule. So when I don't take time to rest, I don't take much care of my spirit.
So, how would you act if you were actually demonstrating these qualities? That version of you is who will attract people who see you. When you see you, other people will too.
I would be 100% authentically me. I think this is starting to happen each day more and more. I think out of fear I have kept parts of me hidden, or subdued. Something like if I show who I really am and be vulnerable people won't like it.. which is really backwards, because then I'm hiding GOOD qualities.. who isn't going to love good qualities?? Do I really want those people in my life?
They say that the energy you put out is the energy you will receive in return. I like all of those qualities of me I listed above. I want people to know those things about me. And I want to receive them from other people. I'm happy to be on this journey to expressing on the outside who I am on the inside.
When we try to prove ourselves to others, it is because we do not see our great qualities and are not giving these qualities to ourselves. Once we do, we step into a new paradigm and walk away from trying to prove ourselves and step into just being ourselves.
(from The Daily Love this morning)
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
me, loving me
"When we love ourselves, we remember that rejection is protection.
When we love ourselves we are careful whom we give our hearts to.
When we love ourselves, we see every event of our lives as lessons and know that there are no shortages in The Uni-verse. We know that if it doesn't work out something greater is on the way."
-The Daily Love on 7.24.2011
When we love ourselves we are careful whom we give our hearts to.
When we love ourselves, we see every event of our lives as lessons and know that there are no shortages in The Uni-verse. We know that if it doesn't work out something greater is on the way."
-The Daily Love on 7.24.2011
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