I've noticed recently that every single time someone asks me how I am, I give the answer (very quickly) of "I'm good! How are you??".. now.. I know about myself, that I'm recovering from the "I'm Fine" Syndrome. In the meantime, my habit exists.
And really.. this habit is exactly what the problem is.
The quick (not always honest) answer about me, and then the more genuine concern about them.
The "I don't have any problems, but I'd love to hear yours."
Therefore, I am going to challenge myself.
In the next.. well.. couple of days? Week? Something do-able. I'm going to give a different answer.
1. Be honest
2. No asking about them
Now at first thought, this feels really awful to me. I want to know how someone else is doing. But it's as if I need to cut myself off, cold turkey, to learn this lesson.
That it's okay for someone else to care about you, and to bask in that. Let that be. Live in it. Enjoy it. Savor it. Don't just give a 1 cent answer and then shift concern back to them. Appreciate the fact that they care enough to ask how you are.
It's harder than it sounds.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Monday, May 9, 2011
2 Corinthians 3
So in the morning I'm reading My Utmost For His Highest and also a chapter or two in the Voice translation of the Bible. I've worked through John, Romans and 1 Corinthians. I'm in 2 Corinthians now. I really like how it gives some background of what's going on and why Paul is writing the letters and who he's writing them to. If I've learned anything in the last year or so it's that context is SO important. Vital, really. I say in the last year because I really feel like that's when I've started to dive in to the Bible and wanted to know more.
Today I read 2 Corinthians 2 and 3 and whoa. 3 in particular.
Paul is writing to the church in Corinth in a time where they were struggling as a church and also struggling to trust him.
2 Corinthians 3:3
You are the living letter of the Liberating King, nurture by us and inscribed, not with ink, but with the Spirit of the Living God - a letter too passionate to be chiseled onto stone tablets, but emblazoned upon the human heart.
Whewy. Emblazoned upon the human heart. Do you ever get that feeling that when someone explains something or you see a car crash scene or something, that you feel that pain or whatever that person described? That's what I feel in that sentence. I feel something on my heart, in my chest.
2 Corinthians 3:4-6
This is the kind of confidence we have in and through the Liberating King toward our God. Don't be mistaken; in and of ourselves we know we have little to offer, but any competence or value we have comes from God. Now God has equipped us to be capable servants of the new covenant, not by authority of the written law which only brings death, but by the Spirit who brings life.
Again, whewy! Confidence.. competence.. equipped.. Big words for me. ..the Spirit who brings life. Love it.
2 Corinthians 3: 12
In light of this hope that we have, we act with great confidence and speak with great courage.
Again with the confidence.. and courage. Wow.
2 Corinthians 3: 17-18
By any heart where the Spirit of the Lord is present, there is liberty. Now all of us, with our faces unveiled (ohhh notice how he doesn't just say "Now us men" or anything about women being veiled.. interesting.. I'm learning about the different ways the church has used different scripture passages to hurt women and downplay our role in the church.. tangent.), are transfixed by the glory of the Lord, gazing - like we'd gaze into a mirror - at His splendor, and so we are being transformed, metamorphosed, into His same image from one radiance of glory into another, just as the Spirit of the Lord accomplishes it.
Who accomplishes it? Ohhh the Spirit of the Lord? Not me? Oh to let go and trust God, huh? :) I'm off the hook really. It's not something I need to do. It's something I trust Him to do. I think that sounds like a lovely plan. <3
Today I read 2 Corinthians 2 and 3 and whoa. 3 in particular.
Paul is writing to the church in Corinth in a time where they were struggling as a church and also struggling to trust him.
2 Corinthians 3:3
You are the living letter of the Liberating King, nurture by us and inscribed, not with ink, but with the Spirit of the Living God - a letter too passionate to be chiseled onto stone tablets, but emblazoned upon the human heart.
Whewy. Emblazoned upon the human heart. Do you ever get that feeling that when someone explains something or you see a car crash scene or something, that you feel that pain or whatever that person described? That's what I feel in that sentence. I feel something on my heart, in my chest.
2 Corinthians 3:4-6
This is the kind of confidence we have in and through the Liberating King toward our God. Don't be mistaken; in and of ourselves we know we have little to offer, but any competence or value we have comes from God. Now God has equipped us to be capable servants of the new covenant, not by authority of the written law which only brings death, but by the Spirit who brings life.
Again, whewy! Confidence.. competence.. equipped.. Big words for me. ..the Spirit who brings life. Love it.
2 Corinthians 3: 12
In light of this hope that we have, we act with great confidence and speak with great courage.
Again with the confidence.. and courage. Wow.
2 Corinthians 3: 17-18
By any heart where the Spirit of the Lord is present, there is liberty. Now all of us, with our faces unveiled (ohhh notice how he doesn't just say "Now us men" or anything about women being veiled.. interesting.. I'm learning about the different ways the church has used different scripture passages to hurt women and downplay our role in the church.. tangent.), are transfixed by the glory of the Lord, gazing - like we'd gaze into a mirror - at His splendor, and so we are being transformed, metamorphosed, into His same image from one radiance of glory into another, just as the Spirit of the Lord accomplishes it.
Who accomplishes it? Ohhh the Spirit of the Lord? Not me? Oh to let go and trust God, huh? :) I'm off the hook really. It's not something I need to do. It's something I trust Him to do. I think that sounds like a lovely plan. <3
Sunday, May 8, 2011
no [self] condemnation
Go here if you want to listen to the most honest conversation I have ever had in front of a large group of people.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm not sure where I got this poem, but I had it in a book that I lent to my mom recently. I think it fits well with the topic above..
Eternal Purposes
Hold thou fast, for lo, I am with thee;
Stand thou still, for I am thy God.
Be thou quiet before Me,
For I have arranged all things for thee
according to My good will,
yea, according to Mine eternal purposes.
For I have purposes and plans and desires
which reach far beyond thy present view.
Thou seest as it were the immediate situation,
but My thoughts for thee,
and My planning for thee,
embraces eternity.
Yea, thou art in My hand.
Rest there, and leave all else to Me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm not sure where I got this poem, but I had it in a book that I lent to my mom recently. I think it fits well with the topic above..
Eternal Purposes
Hold thou fast, for lo, I am with thee;
Stand thou still, for I am thy God.
Be thou quiet before Me,
For I have arranged all things for thee
according to My good will,
yea, according to Mine eternal purposes.
For I have purposes and plans and desires
which reach far beyond thy present view.
Thou seest as it were the immediate situation,
but My thoughts for thee,
and My planning for thee,
embraces eternity.
Yea, thou art in My hand.
Rest there, and leave all else to Me.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
holding on
Praying as I fall asleep is definitely one of my most favorite things to do. If not my favorite. There really is a peace the surpasses all understanding.
As I was praying and thinking tonight.. I was asking God to remove some things that I've been holding onto.. some anger.. some resentment.. some grudges perhaps.. though I don't think we have a universal understanding of what it means to hold a grudge.. But just holding onto some junk based on hurt.
And the thing is, that doesn't serve me. That person is not worth my time or energy. Feeling angry is only hurting myself. Yeah yeah, I need to feel everything. I get that. And I am. But this is beyond feeling it. It's viscerally holding onto it. As if doing so will make me feel better, or make them feel worse.. Obviously, neither are true.
So I breathe. I breathe and let go. Because letting go isn't just about things that you were holding onto, but things that were holding onto you.
This anger was holding onto me. And noticeably in the last couple of weeks I have been grumpier and overall just.. bleh. And I don't want to be bleh. I am fed up with bleh. Life is too short. I'm going to be 25 in a couple months for goodness sake.. (time's running out, right? ;o) )
The point is, it's not worth it. There is nothing to gain and everything to lose.
It's a decision, and I'm making it. I will not hold on, and I will not allow it to hold on to me. I release it, into the air. Into the sky. It's not mine. I don't want it.
As I was praying and thinking tonight.. I was asking God to remove some things that I've been holding onto.. some anger.. some resentment.. some grudges perhaps.. though I don't think we have a universal understanding of what it means to hold a grudge.. But just holding onto some junk based on hurt.
And the thing is, that doesn't serve me. That person is not worth my time or energy. Feeling angry is only hurting myself. Yeah yeah, I need to feel everything. I get that. And I am. But this is beyond feeling it. It's viscerally holding onto it. As if doing so will make me feel better, or make them feel worse.. Obviously, neither are true.
So I breathe. I breathe and let go. Because letting go isn't just about things that you were holding onto, but things that were holding onto you.
This anger was holding onto me. And noticeably in the last couple of weeks I have been grumpier and overall just.. bleh. And I don't want to be bleh. I am fed up with bleh. Life is too short. I'm going to be 25 in a couple months for goodness sake.. (time's running out, right? ;o) )
The point is, it's not worth it. There is nothing to gain and everything to lose.
It's a decision, and I'm making it. I will not hold on, and I will not allow it to hold on to me. I release it, into the air. Into the sky. It's not mine. I don't want it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)