I've been thinking about this often in the last few months when I've been a reading fiend but especially lately.
It's important when we're reading books outside of the Bible to have God's discernment as to truth and untruth.
In reading My Utmost For His Highest by Oswald Chambers, I have found things that I think are untruths. His interpretation of the Bible or of Christian lifestyle doesn't always fit with what I understand to be true.
And what I understand to be true will grow and mature as I do. That's logical.
But it's important when reading a fiction book, such as that or Love Wins or anything written by a human today, that it is not the Bible. Even their interpretation and stance on what the Bible says might not be true, and yes might lead some people astray. Which is where the heresy part comes in, and why that accusation against Rob Bell is that charged and controversial.
In reading any book we have to (and can't really choose not to) read it through the lenses of who we are right now, in light of our experiences, and in light of what we understand to be true. It will change with time. But right now that's what we've got.
We need to pray for God's discernment in all areas of life, but particularly lately I've been thinking about the books I read.
Each book outside of the Bible is one person's theology. It doesn't have to be mine. In some cases it shouldn't be.
I believe God speaks to our hearts. We can ask Him to show us what to believe. We can get insight from other people, but ultimately, God speaks the truth.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
warning: this is a rant
So. I got a little fired up again today. Aforementioned former youth pastor posted on my fb wall today, a really poorly and abruptly moderated interview with Rob Bell. This as part of his justification of why he "struggles" with the book (that he hasn't read).
I got so... angry? Frustrated? These negative emotions and actually feeling them is still semi-foreign to me so naming them is hard. I can tell you my heart started to race, I felt my face get a little hot, my shoulders got tense, and I probably made a really ugly-looking face (which isn't hard for me, it runs in my family.. women with faces that are difficult to read and usually don't match our emotions).. That was my reaction.
I was walking home from the hardware store at the time when I saw that he posted it so I watch the video when I got home. But all the walk home I was fuming (now understand, "fuming" for me is quite subdued I think compared to others). But I got to thinking about it.. and as a pastor, I am going to be challenged and disagreed with A LOT. This is just the beginning. AND, he doesn't even know that I disagree, well I suppose he does since I posted a link about the book and said I was excited to read it.. but I never said that I've read it and agreed. Interesting distinction.
Anyway. I got to thinking.. Who can I call to talk through this before I react? Sometimes I can react too quickly and not completely think through what I am thinking/feeling before I say something. I thought I needed some guidance to this. I feel like short of my friends (who pretty much either believe almost exactly what I do or don't really believe in God so this hasn't really come up) I don't really have someone who would disagree and voice it about something in our mutual faith world. And this situation is especially troublesome because there is a history with him, as knowing him for 10+ years and him still being at the church my parents go to and whatnot. So there are politics involved. Oh and not to mention it's on fb and quite public. There's a lot going into the thought behind how to respond (or not respond).
So as I'm thinking, who should I talk to, it struck me. DUH. Talk to God. Come on Tamara. Talk about ultimate guidance.
So I did something that has felt VERY powerful in the last few months. I kneeled beside my bed, with my hands outstretched and open and just had a lovely chat with God. Mind you, in the last few months the talks haven't all been lovely.. most have involved bawling and some yelling. But this one was rather great. Crying out to God feels pretty amazing. The fact that we can have direct communication with the God of the Universe astounds me.
And He gave me a peace. It's not about one man's opinion. This youth pastor's or Rob Bell's. Truth is truth. God reveals truth. Does he use men and women to do that? Sure. Does He still today? Sure. And He gives us discernment as to what is His truth and what is not. If we can't trust Him to do that, we've put Him in quite a tiny box and I think that is incredibly unfortunate.
My question back to him was simple: Have you read the book?
With that, I let it go. I went about my day. I will not let another person's (ahem biased and incorrect (oh wait did I say that?)) opinion control my demeanor toward others or my outlook on the day. No one deserves that power. I used to love to give people that power without realizing it. Now THAT is not living.
He wrote a response about how busy he is with Seminary reading (oh dropping a line about how you're becoming a great master of the Word) but intends to read it. But that from the excerpts He's read and commentary, he said he knows the premise of the book. He then wrote a quote from an email he sent to someone in his church regarding the book (and he included her name, and I know her, I think he should have omitted that).. but the interesting thing is I don't disagree with most of what he said. That being said, the things he's saying about the book (I think) should be entirely dismissed because he has not read the book.
I think I ... fairly respectfully summed my ideas up in my response:
"With all due respect to you and others who haven't read the book and made comments about it, I don't think it's right to judge a book by it's cover and certainly not from piecing it together or possibly biased commentary (some of the blogs ...have been outright hate-filled). It's one person's theology, it doesn't have to be yours [you or society collective]. I don't think anyone on this earth today has the be-all-end-all truth that they can write in a book and we should all follow (short of the Bible and that wasn't written by someone in this world today, March 23, 2011), and we shouldn't elevate a person to that standing. That said, I think asking some difficult questions is important and we should all think about what we believe or don't believe, and shouldn't be so threatened by one man saying that he might believe something that you don't agree with. I'm sick of Christians being so hateful toward one another because they interpret something differently. It sets a very poor example of what being a Christian is about. "Oh look at those Christians, they even hate their own kind, how do you think they feel about people who don't believe in Christ?" Yup, so that's a rant. Long story short, I'm in the middle of reading the book and so far he's saying some very thought-provoking statements about what we have understood about heaven and hell and I might not agree with it in the end, or I might, but I think it's a great opportunity to think."
I mean, good heavens. If we based what we thought about books from a few excerpts and commentary, who would want to read the Bible??? Anyone can bend anything in the direction that they want to. Pick out the excerpts in the Bible about the law and God's judgment and wrath and have someone read those and then think "Wow, what a great book, I'd love to read the rest of it." Please.
Okay, wow. I realize this is intense and maybe I should have kept it on my private blog but it's honest, and real. And I don't think I'm saying anything new or controversial. And you know what, even if I was, so be it. Let's stir up some controversy. Let's shake loose some of the cobwebs that have settled in our minds. We don't all have to agree. There will never be a consensus about everything. That's part of the beauty of being created as individuals. And for goodness sake, if someone is saying that God is loving, why wouldn't we want to believe that?
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Addendum 3/25/2011:
After I posted this and kept thinking about it, I realized it was still a bit reactionary and maybe not the place to have this kind of dialogue. I'm not sure how I feel about it. That being said, from the get-go I said this blog would be uncensored (no going back and taking things out).. so here it will stay.
But I don't want to be a person who rags on other people who feel differently than me. Ultimately, I was upset that this pastor felt differently about something that he hadn't actually read himself. My real frustration was with just that, that he hadn't read it and was making claims about it. It's something that has frustrated me about the cultural landscape around this book this entire time. I guess having it hit so close to home really brought up some strong feelings for me.
In the end, he ended up saying that it was a fair assessment and he needs to read the book. That he likes to have discussions and wishes that Christians could do that more often without being hateful. He asked me to let him know what I thought of the book. I intend to, and that could be interesting. Or maybe it will just be a discussion where we agree to disagree. I'm not done with the book so I can't give a fair assessment of what I think yet.
And even better yet, this back and forth discussion with this pastor spurred a conversation with my brother. He asked me who the jerk was on fb (now that is censored..) and I explained briefly what it was about, and he knows the pastor too and shared his feelings about him. (I'm not here to degrade the character of this pastor, my goodness, not by any means. I can disagree with someone and not think less of them as a human being).
So I explained to my brother some of the discourse that is going on in the Christian community. I explained a little about the book and how it's shaken some people up and they feel threatened (or that their dogma is threatened). I explained that Jesus calls us to love others, not hate them. He said that he can't stand religion because he's been told he's going to hell because he isn't a "lemming" (his words). It broke my heart.
I have friends who have been told at some point in their life that they are going to hell for one reason or another (which, they aren't). I fortunately have not been told that. Through no accomplishment of my own, it just hasn't happened (yet? maybe someday?). A friend of mine (actually the one who brought me to youth group and was like a sister to me for many years) was told she was going to hell because she didn't speak in tongues. That's what I'm talking about.. outrageous.
So my brother and I. I explained to him that religion is about rules, faith is about freedom. Jesus didn't come to just make the law more strong, He came to fulfill it. We are called to love one another. I told him I agree, religion and thinking that you have to give up your mind or your individual uniqueness only to follow-suit is bad. He said "No, I know. You get it. Just keep doing what you're doing." I let him know I plan on it.
It touched my heart. And it hurt a lot too. It aches that someone has hurt him so much that he feels like he can't have any part of it, that he doesn't want to have any part of it. He's been on my heart the last couple of months. I pray that I might be a light to him. That I can show him what Jesus is really all about. That life with God is so fulfilling, so amazing, nothing like what it is without him. That it's not just about where he spends eternity after he dies, but how he can have abundant life now. Lord, please use me.
I got so... angry? Frustrated? These negative emotions and actually feeling them is still semi-foreign to me so naming them is hard. I can tell you my heart started to race, I felt my face get a little hot, my shoulders got tense, and I probably made a really ugly-looking face (which isn't hard for me, it runs in my family.. women with faces that are difficult to read and usually don't match our emotions).. That was my reaction.
I was walking home from the hardware store at the time when I saw that he posted it so I watch the video when I got home. But all the walk home I was fuming (now understand, "fuming" for me is quite subdued I think compared to others). But I got to thinking about it.. and as a pastor, I am going to be challenged and disagreed with A LOT. This is just the beginning. AND, he doesn't even know that I disagree, well I suppose he does since I posted a link about the book and said I was excited to read it.. but I never said that I've read it and agreed. Interesting distinction.
Anyway. I got to thinking.. Who can I call to talk through this before I react? Sometimes I can react too quickly and not completely think through what I am thinking/feeling before I say something. I thought I needed some guidance to this. I feel like short of my friends (who pretty much either believe almost exactly what I do or don't really believe in God so this hasn't really come up) I don't really have someone who would disagree and voice it about something in our mutual faith world. And this situation is especially troublesome because there is a history with him, as knowing him for 10+ years and him still being at the church my parents go to and whatnot. So there are politics involved. Oh and not to mention it's on fb and quite public. There's a lot going into the thought behind how to respond (or not respond).
So as I'm thinking, who should I talk to, it struck me. DUH. Talk to God. Come on Tamara. Talk about ultimate guidance.
So I did something that has felt VERY powerful in the last few months. I kneeled beside my bed, with my hands outstretched and open and just had a lovely chat with God. Mind you, in the last few months the talks haven't all been lovely.. most have involved bawling and some yelling. But this one was rather great. Crying out to God feels pretty amazing. The fact that we can have direct communication with the God of the Universe astounds me.
And He gave me a peace. It's not about one man's opinion. This youth pastor's or Rob Bell's. Truth is truth. God reveals truth. Does he use men and women to do that? Sure. Does He still today? Sure. And He gives us discernment as to what is His truth and what is not. If we can't trust Him to do that, we've put Him in quite a tiny box and I think that is incredibly unfortunate.
My question back to him was simple: Have you read the book?
With that, I let it go. I went about my day. I will not let another person's (ahem biased and incorrect (oh wait did I say that?)) opinion control my demeanor toward others or my outlook on the day. No one deserves that power. I used to love to give people that power without realizing it. Now THAT is not living.
He wrote a response about how busy he is with Seminary reading (oh dropping a line about how you're becoming a great master of the Word) but intends to read it. But that from the excerpts He's read and commentary, he said he knows the premise of the book. He then wrote a quote from an email he sent to someone in his church regarding the book (and he included her name, and I know her, I think he should have omitted that).. but the interesting thing is I don't disagree with most of what he said. That being said, the things he's saying about the book (I think) should be entirely dismissed because he has not read the book.
I think I ... fairly respectfully summed my ideas up in my response:
"With all due respect to you and others who haven't read the book and made comments about it, I don't think it's right to judge a book by it's cover and certainly not from piecing it together or possibly biased commentary (some of the blogs ...have been outright hate-filled). It's one person's theology, it doesn't have to be yours [you or society collective]. I don't think anyone on this earth today has the be-all-end-all truth that they can write in a book and we should all follow (short of the Bible and that wasn't written by someone in this world today, March 23, 2011), and we shouldn't elevate a person to that standing. That said, I think asking some difficult questions is important and we should all think about what we believe or don't believe, and shouldn't be so threatened by one man saying that he might believe something that you don't agree with. I'm sick of Christians being so hateful toward one another because they interpret something differently. It sets a very poor example of what being a Christian is about. "Oh look at those Christians, they even hate their own kind, how do you think they feel about people who don't believe in Christ?" Yup, so that's a rant. Long story short, I'm in the middle of reading the book and so far he's saying some very thought-provoking statements about what we have understood about heaven and hell and I might not agree with it in the end, or I might, but I think it's a great opportunity to think."
I mean, good heavens. If we based what we thought about books from a few excerpts and commentary, who would want to read the Bible??? Anyone can bend anything in the direction that they want to. Pick out the excerpts in the Bible about the law and God's judgment and wrath and have someone read those and then think "Wow, what a great book, I'd love to read the rest of it." Please.
Okay, wow. I realize this is intense and maybe I should have kept it on my private blog but it's honest, and real. And I don't think I'm saying anything new or controversial. And you know what, even if I was, so be it. Let's stir up some controversy. Let's shake loose some of the cobwebs that have settled in our minds. We don't all have to agree. There will never be a consensus about everything. That's part of the beauty of being created as individuals. And for goodness sake, if someone is saying that God is loving, why wouldn't we want to believe that?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Addendum 3/25/2011:
After I posted this and kept thinking about it, I realized it was still a bit reactionary and maybe not the place to have this kind of dialogue. I'm not sure how I feel about it. That being said, from the get-go I said this blog would be uncensored (no going back and taking things out).. so here it will stay.
But I don't want to be a person who rags on other people who feel differently than me. Ultimately, I was upset that this pastor felt differently about something that he hadn't actually read himself. My real frustration was with just that, that he hadn't read it and was making claims about it. It's something that has frustrated me about the cultural landscape around this book this entire time. I guess having it hit so close to home really brought up some strong feelings for me.
In the end, he ended up saying that it was a fair assessment and he needs to read the book. That he likes to have discussions and wishes that Christians could do that more often without being hateful. He asked me to let him know what I thought of the book. I intend to, and that could be interesting. Or maybe it will just be a discussion where we agree to disagree. I'm not done with the book so I can't give a fair assessment of what I think yet.
And even better yet, this back and forth discussion with this pastor spurred a conversation with my brother. He asked me who the jerk was on fb (now that is censored..) and I explained briefly what it was about, and he knows the pastor too and shared his feelings about him. (I'm not here to degrade the character of this pastor, my goodness, not by any means. I can disagree with someone and not think less of them as a human being).
So I explained to my brother some of the discourse that is going on in the Christian community. I explained a little about the book and how it's shaken some people up and they feel threatened (or that their dogma is threatened). I explained that Jesus calls us to love others, not hate them. He said that he can't stand religion because he's been told he's going to hell because he isn't a "lemming" (his words). It broke my heart.
I have friends who have been told at some point in their life that they are going to hell for one reason or another (which, they aren't). I fortunately have not been told that. Through no accomplishment of my own, it just hasn't happened (yet? maybe someday?). A friend of mine (actually the one who brought me to youth group and was like a sister to me for many years) was told she was going to hell because she didn't speak in tongues. That's what I'm talking about.. outrageous.
So my brother and I. I explained to him that religion is about rules, faith is about freedom. Jesus didn't come to just make the law more strong, He came to fulfill it. We are called to love one another. I told him I agree, religion and thinking that you have to give up your mind or your individual uniqueness only to follow-suit is bad. He said "No, I know. You get it. Just keep doing what you're doing." I let him know I plan on it.
It touched my heart. And it hurt a lot too. It aches that someone has hurt him so much that he feels like he can't have any part of it, that he doesn't want to have any part of it. He's been on my heart the last couple of months. I pray that I might be a light to him. That I can show him what Jesus is really all about. That life with God is so fulfilling, so amazing, nothing like what it is without him. That it's not just about where he spends eternity after he dies, but how he can have abundant life now. Lord, please use me.
transportation
On this wintry day when everyone's writing about how many accidents they saw and how long it took them to get to work it got me thinking..
What was life like before transportation as we know it today?
People lived locally. They walked where they needed to go. Maybe they used horses. They grew their own vegetables, raised their own animals to eat. They traded with neighbors who raised the other things that they needed. They enjoyed time together as a family because their kids weren't each involved in 7 sports/arts activities. They knew each other, well. They trusted each other because they knew that they needed to depend on each other.
They didn't have cars to drive them to the other side of the metro area just because they wanted to go to the one restaurant over there and well, why not? They didn't drive extra far to go to the gas station with $.05 less. (In the end, are you really saving money if you drove 5 miles out of your way? Probably not. I've never understood that.) They didn't spend time with 5 different people in one day and pack their schedule so incredibly full that they didn't have time to really find out how ONE friend is doing.
I wish I could go back. I wish I HAD to shop at the grocery store down the street from me. I wish I had no option but to get to know my neighbors and depend on them for more than the very occasional favor of helping me shovel out my car and push it out of my parking spot on the street.
I'm brainstorming an experiment for myself. I don't know how practical it is though.
Could I go ONE WEEK without using my car? If so, could I go ONE MONTH?
Even right this minute I'm thinking of excuses why I couldn't. I have commitments in other cities that would be really hard to get to using public transportation. This coming from the girl who DOES NOT understand the transportation here, but is fully confident about using the subway in NYC, the metro in DC, etc. Hmm. Something to work on.
Off to WALK to buy a gallon of milk and a shovel for my room mate to get her car out. I'll be thinking a lot as I walk.
What was life like before transportation as we know it today?
People lived locally. They walked where they needed to go. Maybe they used horses. They grew their own vegetables, raised their own animals to eat. They traded with neighbors who raised the other things that they needed. They enjoyed time together as a family because their kids weren't each involved in 7 sports/arts activities. They knew each other, well. They trusted each other because they knew that they needed to depend on each other.
They didn't have cars to drive them to the other side of the metro area just because they wanted to go to the one restaurant over there and well, why not? They didn't drive extra far to go to the gas station with $.05 less. (In the end, are you really saving money if you drove 5 miles out of your way? Probably not. I've never understood that.) They didn't spend time with 5 different people in one day and pack their schedule so incredibly full that they didn't have time to really find out how ONE friend is doing.
I wish I could go back. I wish I HAD to shop at the grocery store down the street from me. I wish I had no option but to get to know my neighbors and depend on them for more than the very occasional favor of helping me shovel out my car and push it out of my parking spot on the street.
I'm brainstorming an experiment for myself. I don't know how practical it is though.
Could I go ONE WEEK without using my car? If so, could I go ONE MONTH?
Even right this minute I'm thinking of excuses why I couldn't. I have commitments in other cities that would be really hard to get to using public transportation. This coming from the girl who DOES NOT understand the transportation here, but is fully confident about using the subway in NYC, the metro in DC, etc. Hmm. Something to work on.
Off to WALK to buy a gallon of milk and a shovel for my room mate to get her car out. I'll be thinking a lot as I walk.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
right now
I watched a Rob Bell video last night from the Nooma series called "Today". He talked about how often we live in the past and think of the "good times" and oh how remember when.. oh those were the days weren't they? How we hold onto things, memories, people, and lose track of living today.
I was thinking about it as I was walking home today after buying some milk at a store by my house. I was looking around at the apartment buildings and houses. Thinking about how great it will be when I'm a therapist.. and what it'll be like to be a pastor.. and what writing my final paper will be like for grad school.. and what it'll be like when I own a house and a dog...
Don't get me wrong, it's good to think about those things. But I feel like I've been thinking like that a lot lately. Focusing on what the future will be like, or thinking about what the past was like.
Then I stopped. I thought about how cool it is that I live in one of the greatest cities in the country (in my humble opinion anyway) and about all of the amazing blessings I have in my life right now. This moment. Not 3 months ago, not 3 years from now. Right now. I am so blessed I can't even stand it.
We miss out on what is happening right now when we're looking backwards or forwards. Appreciate the past, be excited about the future, but live right now.
I was thinking about it as I was walking home today after buying some milk at a store by my house. I was looking around at the apartment buildings and houses. Thinking about how great it will be when I'm a therapist.. and what it'll be like to be a pastor.. and what writing my final paper will be like for grad school.. and what it'll be like when I own a house and a dog...
Don't get me wrong, it's good to think about those things. But I feel like I've been thinking like that a lot lately. Focusing on what the future will be like, or thinking about what the past was like.
Then I stopped. I thought about how cool it is that I live in one of the greatest cities in the country (in my humble opinion anyway) and about all of the amazing blessings I have in my life right now. This moment. Not 3 months ago, not 3 years from now. Right now. I am so blessed I can't even stand it.
We miss out on what is happening right now when we're looking backwards or forwards. Appreciate the past, be excited about the future, but live right now.
Friday, March 11, 2011
explain it
So I'm very excited for this new book coming out, called Love Wins: A Book About Heaven, Hell, and the Fate of Every Person Who Ever Lived by Rob Bell. I've read a couple of his books and really enjoyed them. This new book is causing a lot of controversy (though it hasn't even been released yet.. [read: hasn't been read yet by almost anyone]).. But I've very much enjoyed his books in the past so I look forward to reading his new one. I pre-ordered it today. Yay!
But this is interesting. I realized today how quickly I can get fired up. And really, I didn't get that fired up. Just a little.
But I posted a status on fb about pre-ordering the book and being excited.. and the youth pastor from the church I went to in high school commented (side note: do you ever wish you could filter it so only nice comments are actually allowed? Sometimes I want to live in la-la land where only nice things are said. Anyway.) He commented and said "Let me know what you think of the book. He is thought provoking. I really struggle with his theology though. Enjoy!" and it immediately rubbed me the wrong way.
I know some of HIS theology and I wanted immediately to say "Yeah, well I really struggle with some of YOUR theology. So?"
For example, women in ministry. Not allowed to be pastors. Another example, communion. Only if you're "right" with God. (Let's think about this. Jesus died to make us right with God. I believe it. I have been saved by grace, therefore there is no condemnation. I am right with God. Under grace, there is nothing I can do to change that. Taking communion is a reminder of the sacrifice Jesus was so that we could be right with God. So you're saying, I can't participate in the reminder of something that happened and I believe therefore I am right with God, because somehow, according to some human standard, I am not right with God? Then what was the point of Jesus' death?) Where is the logic there?
Oh, I digress. But man alive, I was stirred up. And it felt good! It feels really amazing to be starting to understand what I believe and not only that, be able to form sentences to explain it and talk about it. Wasn't like that in the past.
And, similarly on the topic of what the book talks about, I was having a conversation with a dear friend and I wondered, why do we want some people to suffer? Why do we [society, collective, not necessarily you or me] want some people to be going to hell? I've read some of the statements some big-name people have said about the book, criticizing the idea of thinking critically about what hell means and who might be going there.
Why do we think it's "justice" or "fair" for some people to suffer? Why do we want there to be a hell that people go to who do "bad" things or aren't right with God?
Don't get me wrong. I'm in no way saying that I don't believe in hell or that people will be going there. I just want to understand the why.
Maybe the book will give me some answers. Maybe I won't find answers til I can chat it up with God in Heaven when I die. Either way, I've learned that taking something at face-value is not all it's cracked up to be. Challenge what you think. Challenge what others think. Together, let's grow.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Lord, save us
I just watched Lord, Save Us From Your Followers : Why is the Gospel of Love Dividing America?
From first glace, I wondered if it would be at all similar to the movie Religulous (which I did not like).. but it was in fact quite different, and very very wonderful and thought-provoking.
I wish I had taken notes as I was watching it, I think I'll go back and watch it again so I can.
I will go to sleep thinking about a lot of things tonight.
Plus! Here's a cool thing. They mentioned and interviewed Tony the Beat Poet from Blue Like Jazz and talked about a section of the book that I just read this morning. Talk about timing.
It's worth a watch, no matter what you believe. If you don't like Christians, you might see why we don't like some of us as well. Let's all embrace life and learn to love one another. Let's think about what it means to be Christ-like. Church is not a building, it's people. Life is for living. I want to pour out God's love on the people around me. Today.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
unending love, amazing grace
This song has been in my head all day, since we sang it at church this morning.
The simple words:
unending love, amazing grace
Grace really is amazing. That the God of the Universe would pardon my sins through Jesus' death on the cross. Nothing short of amazing.
I love how a couple simple words really mean so much and resonate for hours, even days.
That's definitely been a theme on my journey, with the "it's not about you" phrase.
*I hope to lose myself for good. I hope to find it in the end. But not in me, in You.* - Switchfoot
Absolutely.
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I hung a tapestry in my room yesterday, from Peru. It got me thinking tonight about how things come into our lives, and where they come from. Someone made that. Someone sold it. Someone bought it. Someone gave it to me. And now it's a part of my life. It's beautiful really, the tapestry that is woven in life. The way that things and people are a part of our tapestries.
It reminds me of a message from church about a year and a half ago. It was one that really stuck with me at the time and made me think of a good friend who I had lost touch with because of some nasty things she had said to me years before. We had a very large disagreement over life matters (okay, fess up Tamara).. to be honest, she was getting down on me for wanting to move in with my boyfriend at the time. I saw her as being very judgmental and self-righteous. She said a lot of very nasty things and it stung. I realize now that she was doing what she thought was right and how she wanted to be a good friend. Anyway, we stopped talking. I moved in with him, learned my lessons (wouldn't take it back, I learned some serious lessons that are priceless and I am the type of person who needs to learn things the hard way apparently).. But she and I were no longer friends. The message at church was about being "Woven Together". It's not just MY story and YOUR story, but OUR story. We are on this journey together. It struck me that day so much that I went and prayed with one of the pastors (I wrote a little about this experience in my very first post, about when I started letting my guard down and getting connected)... but we prayed for this broken friendship. This friend was a huge part of my coming to Christ. My journey to a relationship with God. God used her in my life in countless ways. It was time to forgive her and move on. I prayed about it and eventually sent her a message. I let her know that I had forgiven her, and myself, for the ways we had treated each other. I let her know that I was no longer holding on to the chains that had been dragging along for years. She sent me a message back saying that it was amazing I sent the message when I did, that she had been praying about me as well. She apologized. It was finished. Then a year later, she added me as a friend on FB and sent me a nice message about reconnecting. I haven't seen her yet because she lives 3 hours away, but we have talked about getting together the next time she's in town. The beautiful thing is she is feeling called to be a pastor, as am I. It is amazing the journeys that God has us on.
We're all connected. And it's a beautiful thing the way God weaves our journeys together.
The simple words:
unending love, amazing grace
Grace really is amazing. That the God of the Universe would pardon my sins through Jesus' death on the cross. Nothing short of amazing.
I love how a couple simple words really mean so much and resonate for hours, even days.
That's definitely been a theme on my journey, with the "it's not about you" phrase.
*I hope to lose myself for good. I hope to find it in the end. But not in me, in You.* - Switchfoot
Absolutely.
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I hung a tapestry in my room yesterday, from Peru. It got me thinking tonight about how things come into our lives, and where they come from. Someone made that. Someone sold it. Someone bought it. Someone gave it to me. And now it's a part of my life. It's beautiful really, the tapestry that is woven in life. The way that things and people are a part of our tapestries.
It reminds me of a message from church about a year and a half ago. It was one that really stuck with me at the time and made me think of a good friend who I had lost touch with because of some nasty things she had said to me years before. We had a very large disagreement over life matters (okay, fess up Tamara).. to be honest, she was getting down on me for wanting to move in with my boyfriend at the time. I saw her as being very judgmental and self-righteous. She said a lot of very nasty things and it stung. I realize now that she was doing what she thought was right and how she wanted to be a good friend. Anyway, we stopped talking. I moved in with him, learned my lessons (wouldn't take it back, I learned some serious lessons that are priceless and I am the type of person who needs to learn things the hard way apparently).. But she and I were no longer friends. The message at church was about being "Woven Together". It's not just MY story and YOUR story, but OUR story. We are on this journey together. It struck me that day so much that I went and prayed with one of the pastors (I wrote a little about this experience in my very first post, about when I started letting my guard down and getting connected)... but we prayed for this broken friendship. This friend was a huge part of my coming to Christ. My journey to a relationship with God. God used her in my life in countless ways. It was time to forgive her and move on. I prayed about it and eventually sent her a message. I let her know that I had forgiven her, and myself, for the ways we had treated each other. I let her know that I was no longer holding on to the chains that had been dragging along for years. She sent me a message back saying that it was amazing I sent the message when I did, that she had been praying about me as well. She apologized. It was finished. Then a year later, she added me as a friend on FB and sent me a nice message about reconnecting. I haven't seen her yet because she lives 3 hours away, but we have talked about getting together the next time she's in town. The beautiful thing is she is feeling called to be a pastor, as am I. It is amazing the journeys that God has us on.
We're all connected. And it's a beautiful thing the way God weaves our journeys together.
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